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This Is Your Life

19 Aug

Ralph opened up the Red Book and began to read the background for the night’s broadcast…..

“Tonight folks we are going to be showcasing a Southern Satirical Humorist. Born and raised in the Carolina’s, she grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, an easier time so they all said. The youngest of fifteen, by the time she came along, her parents were pretty well worn to a frazzle and gave in to most of her whims. Spoiled rotten by age four, she proceed to perfect her tantrums, which became well documented once she became a diva in the Non-Fiction Expose’ genre of bestsellers.

This evening we will bring together a multitude of folks that she trampled on, while making her climb to success. During our hour-long show, they will have the opportunity to vent their frustrations over her past….shall we say… indiscreet abusive craftsmanship. Our aim is to help to alleviate some of the mental suffering which she wrought upon these assorted friends and family members, though we do realize, at this stage of “her” life, it will probably won’t have much impact.

Some of her purported friends, refused this final opportunity to face her, most of them having  been brutishly slaughtered within the pages of her many bestselling expose’s, felt that being butchered by her once, was more than enough for a lifetime.

We shall give her an opportunity to beg forgiveness for the emotional trail of damage that she paved through her lifetime, although… as a we are required to broadcast a disclaimer, we want you to note that the Vegas odds on that happening, are now 122 to 1, and you may place your bets accordingly.

Now, out on the street, our camera and microphone men are in position over her body, so we are ready for the show….Ready.. Now… Action……Good Evening, Madam…”

“OH MY GOD, Ralph Edwards, I can’t believe moi is on your show !….they say your life passes before your eyes…. but.. I mean.. this can’t be about me…..Can it?….. Uh-oh……Oh Hell……”

The Plot Thickens, Thursday:
The moments before a life ends.

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Posted by on August 19, 2010 in Flash Fiction, Southern Humor

 

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