She would tell them today. This had just gone on long enough. All the fussing around, the lifting, the feeding, the bathing, the changing, the incessant chatter and the looks. The looks were the worst. Standing around her with those pasted smiles. She knew it was all just a show put on for effect and not necessarily for her enjoyment.
The days had started running together, lets see, was it last year?. She remembered, or thought she did, a better time. A time of warmth and love. A time of freedom where she was her own person. It had been a time immersed in the sound of solitude, which she had come to love. The atmosphere surrounding her had been like a gentle caressing wave and it had calmed her nerves and soothed her soul. She had been alone in her world then and had been happy there. Able to shut out all extraneous distractions, the time had been found to do just what ever she pleased. No one interrupted her when she wanted to sleep. No one bothered her to make her sit up straight or to try just a spoonful of this or that. God, things seemed to have gone down hill so quickly and it had all become such a bore.
She remembered that far-away distance past all so clearly now. She wanted to go back to that time. That time of being in a better place. That time of being whole. So it had to be now, she was so tired of putting it off. Today would be the day she would tell them. Today would be different. She would make them see and then they would understand what she wanted. From nursery to nursing home…yes, it was time to return to the very beginning. Let me go, please, let me go..all the way….full circle.
it Away, Tuesday:
Today would be different.