It never snows here. I mean, really. It doesn’t. They call for it from time to time but just isn’t happening here. Maybe every 10 years or so. No, it just doesn’t fall in these parts. I mean our only contact with snow is that we have to see it on the TV, or catch a glance of it on Web Cams on the internet or listen to NPR prattle sad tales of blizzard like conditions from one end of the country to the other. The real stuff just doesn’t fall in our area. This after all is beach country, sand, seas, sun and fun and all that mess…………….God laughs…Surprise…Gotcha…Faked you out didn’t I….
We must have stumbled into one of the 10 year cycles ’cause down it came. Big white fluffy-poofy flakes. The kind you tried to catch on your tongue when you were a kid. You know nineteen 50-60ish BP? Before pollution. Anyway, it was the perfect storm, bustling in and sneaking out all in 24 hours. There was a mad dash on Saturday morning to get up and take some great photos, proof that “we can have snow by-God if we want to”, to send out to all our, non-believing and really don’t give much of a hoot anyway cause we’ve got two feet of the stuff, friends. But that is what we did. Mission accomplished, heads held high and then the warm air conveniently blew in and melted it all gone, “bye-bye, and thanks for coming”, by late afternoon. Now that is my kind of Snow Storm.
Now that we have had our winter excitement and since old Punxsutawney Phil says warm weather is not in sight any time soon, it’s time to really hunker down and prepare for the ever dreaded event at our house. This annual event doesn’t draw crowds like an oyster roast, nor does it elicit convivial camaraderie between the participants. While it is not physically painful as say tooth extraction, pain is extracted and mental anguish often makes up for lack of the physical side effects. Yes my friends. You know of what I speak. It is the dreaded. Time to prepare the tax return.
Where in the hell have all these little scraps of paper (receipts) come from and why didn’t I file them long before this? What did you do with those forms? Who are these people and why do I have a 1099 from them? You spent what on WHAT? Oh my this can’t be right. Can we claim the cats as children? They eat enough to make a four-year old kid..and don’t get me started on their medical (vet) costs. Surely we can deduct them somewhere? No those stray cats we feed don’t count as helping the homeless either. No, the new TV can’t be written off for a business deduction under training. Watching “Wallstreet” doesn’t qualify as a banking expense either. No we can’t claim the Airline Tickets twice, even though we spent double the flight time just getting through airport security. Can we claim the newspaper for a job hunting expense? No you can’t deduct your road runner expense as a political donation just because you read Drudge Report online. Then it gets ugly.. One finally leaves the room and since I’m the one that does the taxes, it isn’t me.
Stuck, surrounded by what seems to be flotsam and jetsam of the past year. My life in scraps of paper, bits of adding machine tape and official looking notices, telling me who I was, what I did, , where I was, what I ate, where I slept, when I went and when I returned, is this what my life is reduced to? Or… is this what my life is expanded into? Where have I been, who did I see, what did I learn, what did I give, what did I receive in return? Perspective can bevel up or down. Global warming or global snow? Depends on where you are and what you read? Government bailouts good or distended repayments for future generations? Depends on if you are the needy now or the generations doing the paying back? Perspective. Plays an important part in life. So back to the computer I go. Putting things in order, making a list and checking it, actually more that twice. You can’t get around it so…. Get through it, get over it, get it done. Phew..
From this perspective, now that wasn’t so bad? Was it? Honey? Dear? Sweetie? Hello? Where did you disappear to? Hello…………? Well, can you blame him?