..almost homeward bound

18 Nov

…winding down from a six-week jaunt on the road.  It this an ending or just the intro to more beginnings?  We’ll be flying home in a little over 48 hours.  Home.  Home represents so many different things to people.  

I’m just looking forward to the big collapse.  You know that feeling.  You drive into the driveway, look at one another, say hell with the luggage and you just go in the house and collapse on the sofa.  Phew.  We’re finally home. 

Wait..Stop Motion..  rewind just a trifle, well actually more than a trifle, maybe a tad or a smidge. 

First open the front door, call Kitty Kitty.  Wait while they ignore you.  Enter house.  Notice the faint piquant aroma of the litter boxes.  Yes they were changed, but still.  Quickly open some windows.  Call Kitty Kitty once again.  Pick up litter boxes and take them outside.  Look at pile of mail on fire-place and ignore it.  Look at flashing answering machine and ignore that too.  Walk down hall way. Spy cats staring at you like you are aliens from another planet.  Watch cats run under bed.  Shrug shoulders. 

Take quick potty break.  Piquant odor is also down the hall.  Open more windows.  Call kitty kitty.  Watch cats casually approach with nary a hint of apprehension. Yeah right.  Pick up one cat.  Notice piquant aroma on cat.  Put down cat.  Open glass door and put cats out.  Leave glass door open for further aroma removal. 

Walk down to kitchen.  Open refrigerator.  Nothing bought in 6 weeks.  Stare at emptiness.  Feel sad. And hungry.  Flip coin for who goes to grocery store.  He looses. 

Walk back to office.  Turn on computers.  Cuss cause you forget how to plug-in internet connection.  Figure it out.  Check E-mails.  Same old spam.  No “welcome homes”.  People still think you are on wild adventure.  Yeah right. 

Walk back to kitchen.  Open refrigerator.  Nothing has magically appeared.  Casually say, “when are you going to store”?  Kiss him good-by and say hurry home.  And mean it.  Stomach is growling. 

Walk to backyard.  Stare at cold swimming  pool.  Look at all the leaves in pool.  Sigh heavily.  Stare back at cats.  Feel cat rubbing leg.  All is forgiven.  Animals and humans go back into house.  Feed cats.  Watch them eat as if they have been starved for six weeks.  Not.  

Welcome back grocery man. Look at grocery bags.  Put away eggs.  Stare at hamburger meat.  Put  hamburger meat in refrigerator.  Drink glass of milk.  Have piece of toast.  Too tired to cook. 

Go sit on sofa.  Have cats jump in lap.  Catch faint aroma but too tired to care.  Pat cats.  Back to normal. 

Collapse.  All is well.

I can hardly wait.

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Posted by on November 18, 2009 in humor, road warrior, travel


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