…Stetsons and tennis shoes

17 Nov

..and cowboy boots with baseball caps… A  fusion of cultures.  I get to enjoy it all.  Fly all this way to experience the new and exciting and what do I find my self doing?  Going to Wally World  to buy a pair of  jeans.  Of course.  The store that stocks the staple of America.  Anywhere and everywhere.  As they say, even the folks that hate Wally World, go to Wally World and yep, there I was.  Restocking my closet with yet another pair of jeans.  Naturally with this much stopping and starting and shifting and moving about, I had left my trusty pair of traveling pants at one hotel or another.   Aren’t I supposed to be the one that keeps track of everyone and everything?   Heavy sigh…Fly cross country to go to the Wall…how sad…

Sometimes life is just not all that exciting.  The mundane can drive you batty and sometimes  can just send you over the edge a bit.  I have seen the same “free breakfast buffet” items for the past 6 weeks.  I mean, get a grip hotel chain.  There are some of us out here that use your hotels more than once in a blue moon..and your damn cinnamon buns just aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.   Change it up a bit, PLEASE.  I mean we switched hotel chains  one night and it was a pleasure not to see bacon sliced so thin that it took three slices to make one whole piece,   or cheese omelets (and I use that term, way loosely) that look like a soggy taco with a cholesterol addiction.   We almost killed each other in the rush  to get to a crock pot filled with hot gooey oatmeal,  because it was something different…

And don’t get me started on the fancy shower heads.  They look like they will provide a cascade of wonderful sparkling droplets surely meant to pulsate on tired and sore muscles to ease the stress of travel.  Well, they would, but the hotel owners make them  put  those water restricters  in the pipes to save on money, so the trickle of H2O  is definitely not conducive for a “shower massage” and even more so it makes de-soaping a huge challenge.  I just want to get the shampoo outta my hair in less than an hour folks.  Give me a break, I have to get to work. 

 Now I do like some of the beds, although there is no place like home, right?  The towels they give you now-a-days are a sight better than they used to be and there are usually more of them.  The walls are thicker so I don’t hear my neighbors in the throes of passion or having a party at midnight.  This is a good thing, since I tend to want to crash after a long day at about oh, 8:30.  What a wimp….

Then there are the smells of traveling.  Yes, we have our fair share of Southern odors as well.  Our pluff mud, our paper mills, our hog farms…Oh joy, oh bliss.  Out here you get to enjoy the effervescence  of the aroma of sugar beets and potatoes being washed and processed.  A peculiar aroma reminiscent of old socks and sour milk all rolled into one.  If you happen to be near a potato chip factory, you can catch the lilt of burnt oil combined with the old socks and sour milk.  And it stays with you.  In your car, in your hair and on your clothes.  It’s special, and no, I haven’t gotten used to it.  I still have to run, dragging my computer bag,  from my car to the plant.  holding my hand cupped  over my nose like some panickey Japanese unable to find his surgical face mask in the midst of germ attack.

I guess we have to take the bad with the good.  We do so at  home and most often don’t really even notice.  We just go on with our lives and just brush aside the majority of things that annoy or irritate us.  Maybe we have subconsciously determined that gripeing about the mundane on the home front just isn’t worth the waste of time.  No one listens anyway so why bother.  Out here at least,however,  I get to gripe.  Even if it is just a little bit.  I had your attention didn’t I?  Perhaps just for a moment,  you listened, and hopefully you smiled.   See for my part, that made it all better.  So now I can smile again too.

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Posted by on November 17, 2009 in humor, road warrior, travel


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